Glossary of Terms Bluegrass

Ed, Becky, Michael and I were away this weekend past and blessed to have witnessed a live concert featuring Dr. Ralph Stanley. More on this on another blog. I have lots to write about :)

Whilst we were away, and the topic of conversation centered largely around all things Bluegrass, Becky suggested that I blog a glossary of terms for those without nearly as much knowledge on the subject as I. Sorry for your luck. I've put in brackets the source when it didn't come from my own cultured and sophisticated brain.

Bluegrass - I've noticed more and more that this is a fairly subjective term and has no clear definition. I would be remiss in not at least making an attempt...

• If Ralph Stanley sings it, it's bluegrass. Apparently, if Ralph sang "Prop me up beside the Jukebox" some people would still claim that to be a bluegrass song. Actually, Prop Me Up and Oh Death kind of work together.
• If the instruments don't plug in, it might be bluegrass
• If the instruments plug in, it isn't bluegrass. The electric bass, which I'm not allowed to talk about, might be the only possible exception. Maybe.
• If Bob Dylan is singing, it MIGHT be bluegrass. Maybe.
• If the woman dies at the end of the song, it might be bluegrass
• If the dog dies, it might be bluegrass
• If everyone is wearing a white hat and the same shirt in varying colours, it might be bluegrass
• Regarding instruments, if it plugs in or you beat it with a stick, it's not bluegrass (BluegrassRadio.org)
• Radio Friendly Bluegrass - (#1) all those country songs that have been grassified just enough to make them palatable (#2) music for people that don't really like Bluegrass but are pretending to in order to keep the peace somewhere in their lives

See? Subjective.

Grass- left-handed cigarette (Sam Maguire)

Bluegrass fans - "a bunch of old people sitting on lawn chairs in a field listening to music that no one likes" (Hunter Floyd)

Grass it up - (# 1) convert what used to be an okay song to Bluegrass (#2) mash a little of the left-handed cigarettes into the brownies

Grassified - (#1) rhymes with classified (#2) Refers to a song that has been grassed up

The best bluegrass song - The one with no music and no singing - three minutes and 20 seconds of silence (Michael Floyd)

Politically correct term for Hillbilly - William of the Mountain (Ed and Becky Betts)

Banjo - A bucket of bolts and hooks that seems to be rather sensitive in the weather

BAS - Banjo Acquisition Syndrome

BA - Bluegrass Anonymous (12 Step Program)

BAA - the sound a sheep makes

BS - Bachelor of Science...oh wait, that's BSc