Thursday, May 15, 2008

Triangle Lesson # 1

Michael opened the conversation today saying “The triangle is to be taken seriously.” He then proceeded to tell me that I need a triangle lesson. Oh, great - a triangle lesson.
He said that I needed to learn to not be randomly banging on the triangle in Harvey’s left ear, most especially while Harvey is trying to play another song. You mean I didn't add anything to Harvey’s song? Random? I would like to point out that my intention was to create a lovely sound effect in keeping with what Harvey was playing (which sounded like Cluck Old Hen, by the way).

Michael also said that my timing is off. Triangle timing is important, he said. My timing is off? I’ve heard this somewhere before… Oh yes, the bass. Bass lessons 1 through 3. The fact that my timing is off is not news to me. Had my timing been good, I would have married Bernie Curran, the person I met while in high school that introduced me to Supertramp and AC/DC.

Finally, Michael said that my tone is not good. This is not news either. I’ve been accused of having bad tone for many years, probably since early childhood. I recall my mother saying “don’t use that tone with me, young lady.” Many times Michael has said he did not like my tone, and oddly enough, I know I did not have a triangle in my hand. Now I’m wondering what it was he was referring to. Hmmmm… Oh! Maybe he is referring to the cellulite that is accumulating on the southern hemisphere of my body, creating a drastically poor tone situation.

Or, could he have been referring to my tone in that each time I ‘played’ the triangle during last night’s jam, as a special effect in the song Petticoat Junction, everyone laughed. The triangle was supposed to make a gentle ding, ding, ding sound, reminding one of a dinner bell. Harvey pointed out once…twice…that the sound I was making put him more in mind of a nagging wife, frustrated to the point of distraction, and making it clear that if she had to hold dinner one more second, there was going to be heck to pay.

I hit the thing once and Leola nearly jumped out of her skin. Imagine being startled by noise in a room where a banjo, mandolin, bass, and guitar are hard at work, together. I hit the triangle once, and she jumps. Makes no sense to me at all.

Before I forget to mention this, we had a lovely surprise party last night at our house to mark Michael’s birthday. We had sugar, good friends, and good music. We are so blessed to have such good friends. Thanks for coming, everyone.

Michael, my dear, I think I’m going to pass on the triangle lesson. Sweet of you to offer, really. I’ll be bringing my big ole cow bell to the next jam I go to. You just think I was dissonant, jarring, and cacophonous. You just think my tone is bad and my timing off. I’ll show you the champion way to poor tone and incredibly bad timing, not to mention poor cow bell etiquette.

Thought for today: The journey that happens while we are trying to be perfect is called life. Don’t miss it in the looking for perfection.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I Don't Understand....


I keep feeding the banjo player and he keeps playing. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong...

Monday, May 5, 2008

Music Committee? Why was I not Invited??

Apparently a Music Committee is being formed to determine whether songs fit into the Bluegrass category and therefore are able to be played at the Bluegrass Friends Jam Sessions. If you want more info about the jams, please see www.bluegrassfriends.com

I don't understand why I have not been asked to be on this committee. I find this to be rather disturbing. I spoke to Michael about it yesterday, but without luck in changing his mind. Here's how that conversation played out...

We were in the office - I think he locked the door, but that was not necessary. Michael wanted me to help him word a paragraph in his message on the Bluegrass Friends website about a music committee being formed. Over the course of helping with the wording I had an opportunity to ask some questions.

Helen: You're starting a committee? I'll be the chairperson.
Michael: Ahhhh....no, you won't.
Helen: How come?
Michael: (thinking.....turning back to the computer...) help me with this paragraph...
Helen: (playing possum and letting that go...) yes, dear.

After many minutes we finish the three sentence paragraph to both our satisfaction. Phew!

Helen: I am wondering what the point is in having a loaded committee.
Michael: It's not loaded.
Helen: (insisting) Yes, it is. Every single person agrees with you. That makes it loaded.
Michael: It's not loaded. We all have different perspectives.
Helen: Surely you can see how having me on the committee will be a positive thing.
Michael: You cannot be on the committee. People would think you were voting with me because we're married, and it would end up swaying the vote.
Helen: Anyone that knows me knows I would never vote the same you way did. Purely out of principle, I wouldn't. I want to be the chairperson.
Michael: You're not on the committee, so you can't be the chair.
Helen: At least let me be on the committee.
Michael: No.
Helen: I want to be on the committee.
Michael: No.

(In an effort to distract me, Michael demonstrates for me the web interface he has created so that he can provide the committee members with the music that they are to review in 30 second clips, and a template whereby they can rate the clip as to whether it falls in the Bluegrass category.)

Helen: Why did you tick "Down the Road About a Mile or Two" as not Bluegrass. Even I know that one is Bluegrass.
Michael: That version of it isn't Bluegrass.
Helen: Yes, it is. It's a bluegrass song.
Michael: That version isn't bluegrass.
Helen: Why? (Now I'm confused)
Michael: Because of the way it's being sung.
Helen: (Ahhh HA! I think...) You said before that it had nothing to do with the artist!!!
Michael: (Deep sigh...) It doesn't have anything to do with the artist, it has to do with the arrangement.
Helen: I want to be on the committee.
Michael: No.
Helen: Please?
Michael: No.
Helen: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze?
Michael: No.
Helen: (Insert something whispered about what we can do with the door locked...)
Michael...hesitating...looking at the locked door....... No.

Hmmmm...this is not going as I planned. Drat. :(

Helen: I want to be on the committee.
Michael: (no answer...still looking at the door)
Helen: (petulantly) You know what? I wouldn't be on that committee if you begged me. Oh, and another thing, those committee members can keep you warm at night.
Michael: (no response)
Helen: I want to be on the committee.
Michael: No.
Helen: What do you feel like having for supper?

This is a typical example of how most situations play out at our house. Michael is unwavering when he makes up his mind about something, and clearly is not in the least bit concerned about who will be keeping him warm at night.

Thought for the day: Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Hope your day is filled with blessings and not resentment.
Helen