Bane-Jo of My Existence

As I was drifting to sleep last night to the melodic and wistful lulling sound of “Ground Hog” being hammered on the banjo by my darling, I was thinking of a blog. Unfortunately, when I woke up, all I could remember was Ground Hog. It’s a beaut, let me tell you.

I do recall a few random thoughts. I was actually laughing to myself remembering the last blog I wrote that I was not allowed to post. When I say ‘not allowed’ I mean that out of respect for my husband, I won’t post it. He didn’t feel it was near classy enough for me to post. We’ve been married nearly 25 years. The poor man is still living in a delusion.

Anyway, the blog was about a horrific episode in a dressing room at a local department store where I was attempting to buy a new bra. After reading the blog, Michael sort of sat up straight and knit his eyebrows together (he does this when he’s about to impart something important) and said “I don’t think the words “boob” and “torpedo” should be used in the same sentence.

The other thing I recall is not funny at all and very painful – I may need counseling. As I was giving our bedroom a good cleaning (yeah, right) last weekend, I noticed a receipt on my dresser that had “BIRKS” stamped on the back. I didn’t open the receipt as that would be dishonest…who is that girl and what has she done with Helen? ...but I did a bit of jumping up and down and clapping my hands together that a purchase had been made at BIRKS, which is a very high-end jewelry store in uptown Saint John. I do love shiny stuff. As I was clapping and squealing like a stuck pig I wondered how I could (a) find out what was bought without (b) acting too greedy. Impossible.

That night, all cozy on the couch next to Michael, I took his hand and, batting my eyelashes at him, I said “I see on the dresser a receipt for BIRKS…I promise I didn’t open it! But I’m dying to know what you bought”…twitter, bat, twitter, bat, bat, bat, bat.

The response dealt a crushing blow. SIGH…so much for batting and twittering. Michael said “oh, that... I bought a special cloth for shining up the gold on my banjo.” Like, just stab me. So, lemme get this straight… the banjo got a present from BIRKS and I didn’t? There is something seriously wrong with this. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The stupid cloth even came in a fancy box with BIRKS stamped on the outside of it, and I would like to add, the stupid cloth cost something like $18.00. Use spit and paper towel to shine stuff, BUD, like the rest of us.

Shoulder up your gun and call up the dog
Shoulder up your gun and call up the dog
Goin' to the woods, gonna' catch a ground hog
Ground hog

Yonder run a whistle pig under that log
Yonder run a whistle pig under that log
Lord have mercy when the world might pause
Ground hog

Meat's in the cupboard and the butter's in the churn
Meat's in the cupboard and the butter's in the churn
If that ain't ground hog I'll be darned
Ground hog

Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf
Little piece of corn bread layin' on the shelf
If you want some you can get it yourself
Ground hog

Yonder comes Sally with a snicker and a grin
Yonder comes Sally with a snicker and a grin
Ground hog grease all over her chin
Ground hog

I’m still shaking my head. I love shiny stuff and all I get is Ground Hog. Could someone please send me a hubcap?? SNIFF!!

Unless you made other plans, have a happy and peaceful day. Keep doing the next right thing.

Helen

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Interview With Reg Gallant

I'm breaking in on the series of interviews I did before Christmas to present you with my latest - a lengthy chat with New Brunswick Country Music Hall of Fame inductee, Reg Gallant.

I should like to point out that in my interview with Reg, I make mention of "Michael" playing the banjo behind Reg at the Saint John Marina. This Michael I speak of is my husband, but he is not the Michael you hear on the audio samples throughout the interview. The banjo player you hear during the interview is Mike Scott. Just wanted to prevent any confusion that could possibly occur.

This interview is long; a whole 40 minutes, but I think you'll find it informative and interesting. The interview was split into four 10-minute parts so downloading won't take too long. Click on the links below to play each part of the interview in your web browser or right click and choose Save As... to save copies of the MP3 files to your own hard drive.

Be patient; it may take a few minutes before the audio begins playing as the files are 12 MB in size.

Interview with Reg Gallant - part 1.

Interview with Reg Gallant - part 2.

Interview with Reg Gallant - part 3.

Interview with Reg Gallant - part 4.

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Interview - 16 Minutes with Ed & Becky Betts

Welcome back.

I hope you enjoy my interview with Ed & Becky Betts. This was the first interview I conducted in a series of interviews I did just before Christmas.

Click on the link below to listen to the interview in your web browser or right click and choose Save As... to save a copy of the MP3 file to your own hard drive. Be patient; it may take a few minutes before the audio begins playing as the file is 15 MB large.

Interview with Ed & Becky Betts.

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