We have a stand up bass in the corner of our livingroom. Big deal, you may say, but since there is not a great deal of real estate in the livingroom, the bass, or at least it's size, do indeed become a big deal.At Christmastime we had to make a decision to either find somewhere else to put the bass in order to set up a tree, or just decorate the bass. I wasn't opposed to just hanging some balls from the antique tuning thingys at the top of the bass, but some people decided it would look tacky and we set up the tree instead.
When we drove to Halifax two weeks ago for my sister Heather's wedding, we took the bass along with us. It needed special glue, I was told. It turned out to be $260.00 worth of glue...damn right it's special. I'm thinking good old Elmers School Glue will do a fine job next time. Picture this, too. In order to get the bass into the car, the following must be done in exactly the correct order, or the bass will not fit.
First, open all four doors and raise the trunk lid. Next, lay down both back seats, making certain that the seat belts are far over to the side and out of the way. Now, move the driver seat as far forward as it will go. Move the passenger seat as far forward as it will go, and then drop the back rest of the passenger seat only back as far as it will go. Then, one person, taking hold of the bass and standing at the left rear open door, carefully angles the bass in and then forward, toward the rear view mirror, being ever careful not to bump the roof of the car, the mirror or the back of the driver's seat.
The other person (yes, it really does take two people to put the bass in the car) waiting expectantly at the open front right passenger door, gently easing the part of the bass nosing forward around the driver's seat and away from the rear view mirror..."not TOO hard, it might damage the bass!". Whatever. Then, the second person carefully pulls the bass toward her at an impressive angle, and seeing that the bottom of the bass is now actually in the car, eases the bass backwards carefully, and then down, so as to position the bass neck nicely between the two front seats, with the bottom end of it stuck halfway between the trunk and backseat. If Bass Loading were an Olympic event, Michael and I would be gold medalists.
All that to say that I'm finding the bass to be a pain in the butt, not to mention expensive. If you want it, come and get it. But please, bring a truck and your own people. This athelete is changing sports.
4 comments:
I've since explained to the Bluegrass Widow that I also had a genuine, cork-lined, fully chromated accessory tail-pin installed to replace the original tail-pin that produced some unwanted sounds when it vibrated from time to time; she's much better with it all now.
Besides, we can't get rid of the bass; it's our biggest prop (literally) for photo ops. She also doesn't know that bass lesson #5 is just around the corner - with a metronome!
Well Well Well...sounds like someone may be a bit cheesed at having some competition.Remember Helen,the Bass is now part of your family,and because of that,it should be treated as a family member(son or daughter).
I think that maybe you may be feeling a bit left out because of all the attention the Bass gets...Dont worry...you are not threatened..Mike knows that you are his no.one and always will be.ha ha
In closing I hope that you and the Bass will become friends again and enjoy a long relationship together ha ha
your friend Kenny
Dear Kenny:
The bass is NOT a member of our family.
Dear Michael:
I'm still not ok with it. Those vibration sounds didn't bother me in the slightest. But the sound of the metronome? That drives me insane.
I'' take it !!!! Now, how can I get it to Ga., hmmmm
Post a Comment